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blogging Yeah yeah, I'm blogging in for the sake of Megz. Be happy, man, I got off my lazy ass to blog. xP Anyway, hah, I wish I had something positive to say but yet again, you, the unfortunate audience, will have to listen to my rantings. *oh joy* I've been trying to sort out of feelings and emotions lately and I must say that I have come to an abrupt conclusion that it's too damn complicated to comprehend. I have no clue what I'm thinking or feeling or doing. I have no idea why I seem to be so much stupider this year in terms of academics. My English teacher even told me that I'm not a great student. Damn, English was my strongest subject, too! Her exact words are and I quote: "Did you have a hard time last year because your essays are really... bad." Well, that's lovly to know. I can't concentrate on damn anything anymore. I try to pay attention, I really do, but it doesn't matter. I have to drop AP eng now. Two essays in 4 days; what kinda crap is that? I'm not gonna make that up especially since the teacher hates my writing. What's the point? ... I left school last week. I broke down. I mean, I really broke down... started crying for no reason and couldn't stop myself if I wanted to, and you know, looking back on it, I'm not sure if I wanted to stop crying or not. Maybe I wanted pity? Who bloody knows? In anycase, I left school and went home, still crying, and continued to cry until my dad called the doctor... actually, i cried up to the point when we arrived at the doctor's office, then I sat there and stared at the floor and wouldn't talk or comunicate my presense. Like I cared. I was an unresponsive dolt for about an entire week. I sat at home and stared at the wall, the bloody wonderful wall, and hardly talked though at least i kinda tried to make an effort towards the end... hm... well whatever. complained @ 07:27 p.m. *sighs* I'm getting awfully tired of ranting, but it seems that is all I can do nowadays. Such an unhappy person I am. So freaking tired and busy and I feel so worthless, stupid, and weighed down. It's quite sad, really. I used to think I was smart, or at least better than average, but now I'm not so sure. I can't handle the work like I thought I would be able to. I can't handle anything. I'm sure, so very sure, that everyone is getting annoyed by my sucky attitude, too, but there's nothing I can do about it. The longer I try to hold things in, the suckier my attitude becomes and so on and so forth until I'm just sucky all around. Lovely, just effin lovely. Food is foriegn to me. What is food? What is sleep? Havent had either in awhile. My life = stress = suck and die. *falls over*
complained @ 10:11 p.m. *screams* I can't take this shit anymore. I'm stressed. I'm tired. I'm busy. I have no life nor do I have time for one and my classes are driving me insane. Not only do I have my NORMAL classes, but I have lovely SAT school on Mondays and Wednesdays from 4-7 on both wonderful days. Do I have homework? Oh, you bet I do. I have too much homework. It feels like I've crashed into a hole and it doesn't matter how hard I try to climb out because the walls always crumble before I brace myself for the fall. And my friends... well gee, I don't know. I feel so out of it, so unwelcome, and I mean, I'm not just saying that because I'm jealous or anything. or wait, maybe I am. It's too bad, isn't it. My classes, dear god, my classes. My teachers purdy much all suck, or they give way too much work, or they make you feel like the stupidest, most insignifcant ... thing! Miss an essay: grade goes down one entire letter. Tardy to a class: loose 30 points. They ask if I'm ready to fail because no one succeeds, and I raise my hand because I expect nothing less. And it's a crappy feeling. It's a truly crappy feeling. I used to complain about 2 hours of homework per night, but now I complain of 2 hours per class. And isn't it wonderful that this is the way life will be from here on out. Out. Now wouldn't that be nice. Seriously, it would. Not that I'm the type to commit suicide because that's just selfish and besides, I shudder at the sight of blood. My own blood. Movies have desensitized me to other's pain. I hate that. I truly do. I wish I could be this wonderful person who cared about everyone and everything and wouldn't it be great if I could actually help someone? Wouldn't it be great if someone could help me. complained @ 06:56 p.m.
well i probably won't be able to get online for awhile because my dad is gonna rebuild my system. It's been a real pain lately. So I'll just douse you all with quizzes to compensate for my absense. x3 According to the Alien Abduction Test There is a 54% chance that I've been abducted by Aliens!
I am 46% Internet Addict
complained @ 01:54 p.m.
*poke* eep, i can't keep up with things anymore. This Japanese gurl is cramping my style. I apologize beforehand if there are any typos cuz you see, I'm really tired. I can bearly keep my eyes open and it seems like I'm backspacing about every few seconds. ANYwho, um, well let's see... I saw Simone today and My Big Fat Greek Wedding yesterday. Both of them were funny, but they seemed a bit long. I dunno, maybe it's because i cant pay attention to anything for very long. I must be getting ADD in my old age. well let's see now... o! I joined Megz HP RPG. I get to be Remus. rAr! check it out here and join! x3  Which HP Kid Are You? muahaha, yess... well, I hope I'm not THAT... stuck up. x3 complained @ 07:29 p.m.
whee!
woah, like, omg, i'm actually making an entry. *shock* muahaha! so, gee, where to start... hmmm... well, let's start with the more recent things and work our way down the list.
 Take The Ewan McGregor Test! 
find your element at mutedfaith.com. <º> Didn't think i would forget the quizzes, now did you? :D complained @ 09:16 p.m.
*drools*
What Type of Villain are You? mutedfaith.com / <º> I've been suffering a lack of will to do much of anything lately so I probably won't be blogging like I used to. So um, I guess I wanted to share that with you guys cuz I really have nothing else to say. haha, anyway, I myt as well fill this entry up a bit so it wont seem so empty... I went on a one hour freeway drive today... that driver's ed car's accelerator is pathetically weak; u have to literally floor it and it still wont do much of anything. I scared my instructor by flooring it, though, it was funny. I find scaring ppl amusing. so evil. x3 complained @ 09:17 p.m.
"omg, they're killing the dog!" bluh, yes, ppl, they aliens were killing the dog; no really? >_>;; So yes, I saw Signs today and the people in my theater where the most annoying group of ppl I have ever encountered in that situation. Everytime something happened like, o, the wind blew through the corn fields, a couple of women decided it was high-fun time to scream their heads off. I mean really, it wasn't that scary! And they had to voice their opinion on everything.... it's like they were trying to be the narrarator of the story. so annoying... but even w/o the audience, the movie, quite sadly, was half-baked. The movie begins poorly. You don't get to connect with the characters in an emotional sense at all. It's just, bam, well would you lookit that, there's a big circle in my crops. You don't feel scared for them, or anything... i mean, it's just like dropping in on a complete stranger to find out he has some kinda problem that you want nothing to do with. On top of that, the movie was confusing, and not in a good way. The movie introduces characters without telling anything about them. It's like saying: Bob wants flowers. Okay, so um, who is Bob and what does he do and why the heck does he want flowers... I know it's a bad example but I'm too tired to care. lol. And the whole thing about water... phbt, ok, can you be anymore obvious??? "I think I'll go to the lake, they don't like water." uh huh, so um, how do you think we should take out this alien? hmmmm.... OH! and another thing, exactly WHY didn't the airforce go up there and kick the UFO's asses? Everyone was like, ooo, let's look at the purdy lights! Come oooooon, I think the world would send up some fighter pilots to take 'em down... and it was never explained why the aliens left... it only said some group of ppl in india found out how to beat them and, whoopie, they went away! there is sooo no closure in that. so half-baked... >_>;;; complained @ 10:05 p.m.
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